| Graduation Reflection |
[13 May 2009|11:57pm] |
It has been a very long time since I had the opportunity or the desire to write in my livejournal, but I feel that this is an appropriate time. I just graduated college and I just realized that the work is a very messed up place. I bestow so much faith in my friends that they would never do anything to hurt me that I trust them unconditionally. It is sad because there are people who take advantage of this. In recent occurrences, I just lost one of my closest friends because he decided to start a relationship with one of my ex-girlfriends who I am still madly in love with. This is a reflect 2 week after everything happened, so it is somewhat unbiased. I am in pain, I am hurt. I was going to start my relationship with her again after college and be fully committed. The problem with this is I was too late; I took her for granted and one of my friends took advantage of this.
This is an awful situation, but I need to look at it as a learning experience. What hurts the most is the fact that I lost a best friend, my ex. She has been there with me through everything, so not being able to be friends with her for a while is going to hurt a lot and take time for my heart to heal, but I've come to realize that you need to be happy with the person you are and not try to define yourself. Only then can you start to make other people happy and move forward with your life.
In other news I don't have a job lined up, but I have my internship until the end of August. I don't particularly want to be there anymore. I am working on projects that don't interest me and am looking for an excuse to leave. The problem is that I committed to them until the end of August and I intend to stay because I made that commitment. I've had a lot of time to think about it and I feel that going to the army might be a good life decision. It will get me the security clearances necessary to work for the Department of Defense or the CIA one day. I've always wanted to work for the CIA. Unfortunately a big part of me will never come back if I join the service and I feel that is holding me back immensely. As most of you know I am pretty goo when it comes to IT Security, so I would pursue a career in intelligence operations if I was to join. At the very earliest I would go would be the end of August when I am done with my internship at United Technologies. It is very sad that things have seemed to work this way and I cannot get a job in IT Security at a private company off the bat, but I have nothing to lose right now - it is a new opportunity, a new chance to work towards bettering myself and my life. I always said that my career comes before anything else, but now I am starting to question if I am making the right decision with that. It is weird how a set of circumstances can waver one's most desirable ambitions, one's character. Oh well, I am looking at Boston University's graduate program in Management of Information Systems (MIS) with a concentration in IT Security. Maybe that will be enough to get me over this life hurdle. I really don't know what will; the only thing I know is that I need to take the time to reflect on things and be thankful for the support system and true friends that I have in my life.
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[03 Jul 2008|11:23am] |
So my internship is going pretty good. I've been here for two months now and I seem to enjoy it. I am at United Technologies in the Power division.
There is bigger and better news, though. Actually, this is the true reason for the post: I finally got around to creating a website - http://gamesagas.net/~jdoyle
It isn't completely finished yet, but it is decent enough for now. I mean, I did all of the HTML, CSS, and Javascript by hand, so I feel like it is in a good enough state. My goal for the end of the summer is to have it finished. The last thing I need to do that would really put my website over the top is to create a Wiki, much like Wikipedia. I already have a good idea what I would use it for, too.
Anyhow, do enjoy the site. I am going to use this journal to address questions that users have eventually. For right now it is being used as a blog.
Oh right - one more thing - tonight is the firework at home. So I have to leave my lovely apartment in Storrs to head home. If anyone is around give me a call cause that's where I will be.
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[28 Feb 2008|04:39pm] |
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I had a weird dream the other night. It was about an ex. Haven't thought about her in a while. Psycho-analysis says "wtf mate". I wonder how she is doing.
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[01 Oct 2007|10:59pm] |
In short:
- I am pledging Beta Theta Pi
- Staying at Uconn til 2009
- Finally found a group of trust worthy friends at school
- Am currently teaching myself Japanese and re-learning Italian
End.
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[25 Jun 2007|03:47am] |
Recently I haven't been able to sleep. Other than this weekend, that is, when Amanda was down here. But it is now almost 4am and I can't get to bed. It is like I have a million things that I need to get done, but I can't get any of them done right now because it is 4am...fuck...
For anyone who is following, I will be home from July 3rd to July 5th. That means call me if you want to do anything.
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[15 Jun 2007|10:12am] |
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New User pic. I took it a few weeks ago when I was cosplaying. Clearly, I am no known character there, but I thought that it was a funny looking pic. What do you guys think?
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[30 May 2007|04:36pm] |
So I haven't updated in a while. Reason being: working 40 hours a week doing IT, taking a class, teaching myself about a million different geeky IT stuff, and working out a lot. I have officially become an IT nerd. I know this because I got excited when reading a news article about how they are coming out with 1 terabyte hard drives and DOISIS internet, which peaks out at 140mb/sec. The normal download speed for most DSL connections is 10mb/sec. so just scale that speed up by a factor of 14...crazy ish. Here are the links for anyone who is interested:
http://www.livescience.com/technology/070408_terabyte_anyone.html
http://www.livescience.com/technology/070522_cable_modem.html
Time to leave work now. Peace.
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[17 Apr 2007|02:54pm] |
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So I worked from 4pm-6:30am yesterday/today. 14.5 hours...lame! I mean, overall I got a shitload of stuff done for CCEA, but we have a 5pm deadline and we are no where near done. We need at least one more day to work on things. If we had that, this shit would be perfect.
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[14 Apr 2007|01:50pm] |
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last night was the economics scholarship reception-type banquet. I got two awards: the first for $500 from the econ department and then the second from some family or whatever for $2k. I was rather excited; I thought I would only get like $1200 total, but that works for me. Anyhow, I have my aunt's wedding today. Is it bad that I really don't want to go to it? Ok, time to bounce.
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[28 Mar 2007|11:53am] |
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Why is it that when you walk away to talk to someone for 2 minutes your boss comes out and yells at you? WTF! Get a life. I've been working on 4 computers at once, give me a minute or two to chat. Fuckin bitch. Whatever, I am so out of here soon.
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[22 Mar 2007|08:47am] |
This weird thing happened since I've started working for the Connecticut Center for Economic Analysis (CCEA)-- I feel that my life has some meaning now. I know, it is weird, but for some reason I feel that I am accomplishing something. I'm not talking about like hanging out with friends, where the satisfaction only lasts while you are hanging out and the occasional nostalgia. I actually feel good when I leave work for the day, too. It is like a weight is lifted from my shoulders. And (!!!) if I work there while I am getting my MA/PH.D. I get a $15,000 stipen (annually) and $23.50 an hour! That is absolutely amazing. Since one of my professor runs the place I am almost guaranteed that job for my masters (just gotta talk to a few other people, too).
Anyhow, I am in a boring class right now. I suppose I should go back to paying attention now. Later.
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[02 Mar 2007|03:14pm] |
Ok, so spring break has finally arrived. I can't believe that it is this late in the semester; I can't believe that another year has almost passed by. There is so much to think about and quite frankly, it sucks. I've already decided to do my graduate studies at Uconn (due to financial constraints and because I will have completed 4 masters level courses by the time i finish my undergrad studies). So yea, an extra semester (or two) for a masters gives me enough time to stall the thought of entering the real world.
I apologize for rambling, that was not the point of this entry. Actually, the point was to see if anyone was around this week, since I will be home. If so, let's hang out, cause as of right now the only thing I have planned is sleeping (and some reading and writing, but that's beside the point). So, yea, call me.
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[02 Feb 2007|11:46am] |
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If anyone in interested in going to see lacuna coil on april 4th let me know. I am 99% sure that I am going to go to the show.
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[22 Jan 2007|11:50am] |
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Ok, so PJ turns 21 on Friday. I am so going home for that. I am really excited -- if he remembers this weekend I am going to very upset with him. Possibly going to Fordham with him on Saturday night, if he has the time to go. Anyhow, back to work.
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[12 Jan 2007|05:56pm] |
So class is over and I started trainning for work. Within the course of two days, they expect me and the other new hires at ResNet (computer repair dorks) to do 21 hours of training. Yup, it goes from 9am-8pm for Saturday and Sunday...
I've been writing in my novel recently; I have a surplus of ideas, but no time to write, so I decide to make time. I also think that I am going to make a mini-movie, 5 minutes long or so that pretty much sums up who I am (using windows video maker). For some reason I feel the urge to try to definitively define my personality-- weird, eh? Yea, I agree. Anyhow, I am listening to the following song and just completely agreeing with the lyrics, which is what actually prompted me to make this entry:
The Ataris - Angry Nerd Rock
Time to burn it all away, time to think of what to say
Time to go right back to yesterday.
Time for movements in the past, time for something that won't last.
Not just fire quick and die off fast.
Things are never what they seem,
I'm stuck inside of someone else's dream.
Problems never go away...
I'm sick of being caught in yesterday.
Every day is still the same: different faces, different names,
But still stuck here playing these stupid games.
Maybe soon I'll figure out what giving up is all about.
My heart is filled so full of doubt.
Don't turn around, don't look ahead
I won't listen to all the lies I'm fed.
Don't have to listen to you
So don't you fucking tell me what to do.
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[27 Dec 2006|02:42pm] |
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So how does this sound: a best friend who intends to come home for new year's eve to throw a party to see his friends that he won't get to see until late into next semester, just to be told that they would rather spend time with their girlfriends (mind you, they can see them for the rest of break), rather than going. How fucked up is that? So sick of this shit.
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[26 Dec 2006|01:00pm] |
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So, I moved back onto campus last night. I am living in Dom's appartment. I am now in my first lecture of "accounting for financial analysts." I am actually quite nervous since all the students seem to know each other and I don't.
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| Marc's Party |
[17 Dec 2006|10:01am] |
Pure debauchery. nice turn-out, probably 30-40 people showed up. Saw a lot of faces that I haven't seen in a while (which was amazing). PJ is amazing for leaving work early to come. Jungle Juice is never a good idea. Marc needs to get drunk more often. Apparently I can't cook eggs.
Overall, it was pretty fun. I didn't think that I was going to enjoy it, but in the end I did. Only negative part was that there were some sluts there well...being sluts. Oh well, running into that type of people is inevitable.
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[25 Nov 2006|05:15pm] |
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Over this break I've been running a lot. Today, though, I raked leaves with Kaplan for 3 hours. Also, we went to westville to this Jewish deli called Katz's. It was ummm...interesting. The food wasn't bad but the crowd was, as you'd expect, little old jewish people. I got a kick out of it. Good times. I adivse going there if you have a chance.
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[19 Nov 2006|05:30pm] |
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So yesterday was amazing. Nothing beats drinking from 3pm-3am + football + wings + a bunch of great friends. That pretty much summed up Fordham last night. We were at Kaplan's apartment from about 2:30-11 then we decided to go out to the bar. We ended up going to Mugzy's. It was my first time there, but all-in-all it wasn't bad. I met the owner of the bar a few hours prior at the liquor store he owns. He is a pretty chill guy. I had a lot of fun hanging out with the Josh's Fordham friends that I had met a bunch of times. Anyhow, I am going to go finish recovering now. Peace.
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